Wednesday 1 July 2020

Die Huis By Die See



My Kind                                                                                                                                                           
Kom,

se vir my,

Wat is dit?

Hoekom is jou hart
So vreeslik seer?

Hoekom
vloei die trane
Soos riviere
Van af die Berge
Oor jou wange


can’t say!
             If I say,  IF I say,
             the world
will fill with rivers
of salty water
and life will drown
alle lewende dinge sal sterf!
More reflections
In iron mirrors. 




Kom voel die sagtheid
Die rook
Van ou (verskriklikke ou)
Liefe
(Dit het in die lakens absorbeer)

die rakkas

Met Gert se fiets

Dis ‘n portaal, 
‘n donker een 
Tussen die verlede en vandag. 

die gang is lank,
maar vol lig
light
bouncing off faces
loved faces
faces of love. 

voel jou hart soos 
Small
Black 
Pebble?
of ‘n spyker?
verroes, 
skerp
as dangerous as death?
Phantoms
Even phantoms cry –
Can you believe that?
Would you have believed that?


Seeing the world through stained glass windows makes it
Different
somehow.
Soos Lood.




and then!
there’s
the mirror view
iron clad moments
clarity
gripped in seeping cold
SO BAIE KOUD
Asseblief!
HELP MY!!!
vat  my hand
stoot my
na ‘n geel more
‘n toekoms vaar die
omhusel net wit is. 


So wit my trane
Sal nie gesien word nie. 
SO VEEL WATER.
Veels te veel water.
Maar nie genoeg nie. 

David wrote he was frozen inside an iron mirror and so are we. 


Gert se Ma
Se Ma
Se Ma
Se Ma
Hendrina’s se Ma
Se Ma
Se Ma
Se Ma
Casey’s se Ma
Se Ma
Se Ma
Se Ma

So many 
soveel verlies
soveel sterkte
soveel liefde
Gert jy is so geliefd!
There’s a door 
which opens 
from here to there
DAAR
 
en weer terug
weer en weer
a simple place
somtyds
vaar honde speel -
en lig deur skyn 
herinneringe op skinkborde
die verlede op gewillige rakke geplaas – en ons het net onself
(en) die genade van God.
 
Trane
Wat val
hier en daar
'n oseaan
In die huis by die see.
 
Die huis by die see
Die huis by die see.




Monday 29 June 2020

The Down Spiral Writer

The Down Spiral Writer


he kept repeating himself
(and he didn’t know)

It’s a terrible thing to say
a problem
            is problematic.

     A story I wrote
     about her -
     two jobs before waiting
on the kid.

She was all he had
but he didn’t write
that part
didn’t/couldn’t get that far.


It was 
Just another
Man
the man
that man

an open-ended
free-way
cars slinking by
pretending not to see
him.


Just a second,
where’re you’re headed?
DON’T TOUCH ME
its of paramount vantage
ˌbōnə ˈfīdē/ breach
music was cast
edited like only production designers can.


Did you ask Julie who 
wrote this?
mirror slither
that’s all the afforded view
(slightly black and white)

when the colour comes back -

maybe
but it’s a 
general
optical
gimmick
in dreams.



I’ve got to get there
To HIM –

just leave him
just like you

(preserved 
like all great works). 


We ALL contributed 
to the cover up
down spiral story line
Mona Lisa got in
but millions died.

What are the chances
someone unpublished
became 
the art of legacy

(just because I’m reading it) 

(just making the words
LIVE again). 


Go on
keep telling yourself
tell yourself this
is the best part
you cant kill someone 
with words
you cant?
It’s not why 
Whatever they write -
stains
but 
by now its too late.
(That’s why he ALWAYS writes in pencil
That 
Way
Its easier to delete people
He doesn’t like.
Don’t you mean characters,
No, I mean people.


What’s all this?
old letters…
From?
a jail bird forging checks
the great African Novella.

This yours?
Don’t read that!

NO one will

I just did.


for writing fraught
we ought
to realize
mankind is mad -
an inventor of education
unneeded/unheeded
unhinged
impinged.

They blame Covid
But this was WAY
Before the crown.


if the present is based on now,
it’s my personal property diving
into fractious phrases
they’re making a movie
of my life
(behind the wall)
but you’re redundant 
and the shop sign says 
CLOSED.

There you go,
but take it outside Eric

WHILE others 
with noses in books
and sipping coffee
drink
from pleasant surprises
AND
your bellbottoms are sweeping my corridors.


Look, we’re done.


Are we inside now
or out?
A riddle? -
Go figure
Take deep breaths baby
Its all downhill from here.
Is that legal
Keep the things you toss aside 
Don’t hide
Just fade away
a ghoul
in a professional capacity. 

the violin was so soft
we wept
together
in cardboard boxes
I think.
I’m not sure but
they were words
without homes.

her eyes were so sad
see this?
don’t ever become a writer.
But the gold ended pen 
called.
BUT 
so did the bottle.
I have a gift
from one writer to another
(the frustration of torn pages
is there a Word Tailor here)?
No.
I’ll need a new (book).
Overflow
did you read my letter?
you’ve saved them
good
everyone knows
words out
where’s the masterpiece?
Does it exist?
Do you exit?



Interesting view
things felt/thought
moments of inevitable possibilities 
what opportunity
to see
how to gather material - 

LIFE is gathering material -

I’ll use that

It’s so real:

chapter 37, third sentence down (spiral) – 
I can relate
            to that.


Remember something
You are Me
I made you -
the screams and twitters
are guests
in the caravan of Ready.


tortured souls on broken glass
accelerated control
escorted
on plastic sheets
it is written
the story that makes sense
our daily lives
without faith
are nothing
(gyrating on night-lights
a cosmic disappointment). 


Don’t go out there
move back
(its ugly and big)
buckle up kids
(Its far and so strange)
across borders
different tongues
push once
YOU DO NOT HAVE CLEARANCE
and her foot still pains
from pressing the floorboard
trying to put the brakes 
on life.


may I stay over?

-   Thing is - No.
-    
This wasn’t because
I burned the tree?
THAT
was just free entertainment
before we moved -
ok - I’ll head to my suite
take care 
don’t forget to write
do you have a place for  me to stay?

The back seat of my car
that’s it?

renting 24 hours 7 days a week
(what a wonderful life).


The down spiral writer
scratches his head
Thinking
Of nothing
but down spirals on
Cape Doctors and Khamsins
Katabatics perhaps
(one can never tell anything about a wind by the way it blows).


It's just...sit still! for monthly delousing
a beheading
this is the right decision
to dress him well in donations
laughing 
beside 
a burning barrel
very expressive
yes, I’m practicing and
rewriting – 
before
fights break out
behind the couch
at 10.15.



I thought we were just friends?
YES!

This – is – temporary - 

but 

your

back is unbuttoned.



 Buttoning a futile coat
against nowhere to go
best chance is a pawn shop baby
its open 3 6 5 .
again.



How long are you here for?

New guys
tattooed faces
behind bars
I’d like a room for viewing
you’re employed here
??

yes

I’m gathering excellent material.



He’d never actually stood
over the blowers
(too much heat inside)

-   once you’ve landed
you leave

a place without walls
or wells
the invisible man 
in an invisible room
everyone looks

but no-one sees

the spiraling

down spiral writer.